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Monday, June 09, 2008
cos im getting worse, very much worse, with occasional suicidal thoughts. i will cry a few times a day, and when im outdoor or with people or at work, there will be this weird,pain feeling in my throat, cos im holding back my tears and trying my best not to cry in front of people. and that's why until now, im still not meeting anyone, cos i dont know when i will just burst out in tears, and it will be very very embarassing. sometime i feel im better off dead, cos im too tired of going through the pain everyday. since nobody cares or understands. im tired of living. and to think that i have to go through this everyday for the rest of my miserable life. it totally sucks, no one can understand how much it hurts, seriously. right now, i need to talk to someone desperately, already msg someone who i thought might be able to help me, talk/counsel me, or just let me bitch/rant/cry for all i want. the person said she will arrange a date with me soon, but after so many days, still no reply. either she has forgotten, or she's just patronising me. haiz. "one glad morning when this life is over i know i'll see your face" |